Episode 88

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Published on:

7th Dec 2025

From Grandmother’s Love to Adult Survival Mode

In this episode of Survival Mode Disrupted, I’m joined by relationship coach & mentor, Terraine, a man who was raised by his grandmother, reunited with parents who didn’t know how to love him well, and found refuge in religion before finally confronting his own survival patterns. Together, we unpack what survival mode looks like when you’re functioning, high-achieving, and still completely disconnected from your own needs.

🎙️ In This Episode, We Talk About:

  • How being raised without his mother and father put survival mode on default from childhood
  • The role his grandmother played as his first model of love—and how losing her in December 2024 shattered and reshaped him
  • The taboo of telling the truth about your parents in cultures where “that’s your mom/dad” trumps your pain
  • How people end up seeking in partners what they never got at home—validation, words of affirmation, safety, attention
  • Why so many of us confuse people pleasing with kindness, and how it becomes a survival identity
  • How survival mode shows up in the body: racing thoughts, heavy chest, back pain, emotional numbness, autopilot routines
  • The impact of growing up with emotional neglect or chaotic parenting on your adult relationships
  • Why parents who never healed their own childhoods unintentionally recreate the same pain for their kids
  • The difference between running a race (constantly competing) and running a marathon (focusing on your own pace and healing)
  • The crab-in-a-barrel mentality: why some people will pull you back down the moment you start healing

💡 Powerful Moments

  • We unpack how love languages get twisted when you’re raised in chaos:
  • If you were called “fat” and “stupid”? You’ll chase anyone who gives you compliments.
  • If you were controlled or shamed? You’ll overwork, overgive, and overperform to prove you’re enough.
  • We talk about how self-sabotage is often learned—especially if you were raised to make everyone else comfortable but never taught to honor yourself.
  • We explore how survival mode keeps you seeking toxic familiarity instead of safe love, because your nervous system sees chaos as “home.”


🧠 Action Step from Terraine

Find a full-length mirror. Fully clothed.
Look yourself in the eyes and say one thing you love about yourself today.
It sounds simple, but it will trigger a very real conversation with yourself about what you like, what you don’t like, and what you’ve been avoiding.
That’s where your healing starts.


🌐 Connect with Today’s Guest – Terraine

  • Website: behindtheshades.ca
  • Facebook: Search Behind the Shades / Behind the Shades Interviews
  • Special Offer: Mention Survival Mode Disrupted and receive a free 1-hour session with him.


🔗 Resources & Links:


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About the Podcast

Survival Mode Disrupted with Leticia R Francis
Disruptive Unapologetic Conversations about Survival Mode
Survival Mode Disrupted is not just a podcast. It's a rebellion.

A raw, unfiltered space where we finally stop pretending we're fine and start telling the truth—the truth about the trauma we've carried, the identities they had to wear to survive, and the radical decisions we made to break free.

Because here's the deal: survival mode isn’t just a season. It’s a damn identity. One that so many were forced to adopt just to get through life, to stay safe, to stay needed, to stay sane. But eventually, it starts costing you more than it protects. Your peace. Your purpose. Your power.

This podcast is for the disruptors—the people who were told to stay small, stay silent, stay grateful for crumbs… and said “hell no.”

Hosted by Leticia, The Survival Mode Disruptor herself—a trauma recovery mentor, speaker, and woman who has lived through the fires of abuse, betrayal, and breakdown and still chose to rise—this show dives deep into the unapologetic exits from survival mode that no one talks about.

You’ll hear from women (and a few brave men) who walked away from toxic relationships, soul-sucking careers, generational dysfunction, religious trauma, cultural expectations, and the lies they were taught to believe about themselves. Not because it was easy—but because staying would’ve killed something sacred inside of them.

These are the stories of bold pivots, quiet courage, and messy but miraculous rebirths.

Each episode is a conversation—a disruption—meant to wake something up in you. Whether it’s a guest sharing the moment they chose themselves for the first time, or Leticia dropping a truth bomb that makes you question everything you’ve normalized, this podcast is here to shake the foundation of your survival mode identity and replace it with something truer. Something freer.

We’re not here for surface-level self-care tips or fake empowerment slogans.

We’re here to talk about what it really takes to:

Reclaim your voice after being silenced.

Reinvent yourself after being broken down.

Rewrite your story when everyone else wants you to stay the same.

Release the guilt of choosing YOU.

This is for those who are done performing. Done pleasing. Done pretending.

It’s for the ones ready to exit survival mode—not slowly, not quietly, but disruptively and unapologetically.

You won’t leave this podcast the same.
You’ll cry. You’ll rage. You’ll laugh.
You’ll see yourself in every story.
And more importantly, you’ll remember who the hell you are.

Welcome to Survival Mode Disrupted.
It’s not just a podcast.
It’s a movement.
And your exit begins here.

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About your host

Profile picture for Leticia Francis

Leticia Francis

I am not here to inspire you—I am here to activate you.

As a Survivor, Keynote Speaker, and Trauma Recovery Mentor, I know what it’s like to fight battles no one sees. I also know that breaking free is possible. My work is about disrupting survival mode, exposing trauma-driven success cycles, and giving women the blueprint to reclaim their lives.

🔹 200+ podcast features & speaking engagements
🔹 Global Women of Choice Award Winner 2022
🔹 Creator of the Survival Mode Exit Plan
🔹 Host of Survival Mode Disrupted Podcast