Episode 57

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Published on:

26th Oct 2025

I Survived Columbine

Heidi was a sophomore studying in the library when smoke, alarms, and gunfire split her world in two. She describes the moment-by-moment terror, the years of dissociation and panic, and the heavy religious messaging that told her survival demanded a public purpose. Then she walks us into the quieter revolution: self-compassion, nervous system safety, and choosing life for herself.

  • What survival mode looks like when your brain is certain death is coming
  • The aftershocks no one sees: fireworks, catatonia, hypervigilance
  • When “miracle” narratives become pressure and guilt
  • How a father’s presence created safety in chaos
  • Why white-knuckling fails and compassion works
  • Choosing joy and life without minimizing the pain

🎙️ What We Talk About:

  • April 20, 1999 in the library: smoke, commands, eye contact, escape
  • Panic attacks, dissociation, and triggers years later
  • The cost of being labeled “a miracle” and pushed onto stages
  • Defining safety as being fully seen and protected
  • The role of community that allows feelings without an agenda
  • Leticia’s 3 phases to exit survival mode applied to Heidi’s story:
  • Self-awareness: naming panic, survivor’s guilt, and the truth about triggers
  • Reprogramming: replacing pressure with permission, identity with compassion
  • Reinvention: choosing life daily, building safety, allowing joy


🔑 Key Takeaways:

“Surviving isn’t the same as living.”
“Safety is someone saying ‘look at me, I’ve got you’—and meaning it.”
“White-knuckling is not healing.”
“Self-compassion isn’t coddling. It’s medicine.”


🙌 Why This Episode Matters:

Public trauma becomes headlines. Private trauma becomes a lifetime of managing a nervous system that still hears explosions. This conversation gives language to the invisible aftermath and models a path out: truth-telling, self-compassion, and daily choices toward life.


💬 Connect with Heidi:

By request only through the show. Respect her privacy and humanity.


Listener Action

If fireworks, alarms, or crowds trigger you, identify one person and one place that feel safe. Tell them what you need before the next trigger hits. Safety planned is safety felt.


CTA

You were not built to break. You were not built to just survive. Share this episode with someone who needs permission to stop white-knuckling and start living. Leave a 5-star review so this message reaches the ones still shaking in silence.


🔗 Resources & Links:


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About the Podcast

Survival Mode Disrupted with Leticia R Francis
Disruptive Unapologetic Conversations about Survival Mode
Survival Mode Disrupted is not just a podcast. It's a rebellion.

A raw, unfiltered space where we finally stop pretending we're fine and start telling the truth—the truth about the trauma we've carried, the identities they had to wear to survive, and the radical decisions we made to break free.

Because here's the deal: survival mode isn’t just a season. It’s a damn identity. One that so many were forced to adopt just to get through life, to stay safe, to stay needed, to stay sane. But eventually, it starts costing you more than it protects. Your peace. Your purpose. Your power.

This podcast is for the disruptors—the people who were told to stay small, stay silent, stay grateful for crumbs… and said “hell no.”

Hosted by Leticia, The Survival Mode Disruptor herself—a trauma recovery mentor, speaker, and woman who has lived through the fires of abuse, betrayal, and breakdown and still chose to rise—this show dives deep into the unapologetic exits from survival mode that no one talks about.

You’ll hear from women (and a few brave men) who walked away from toxic relationships, soul-sucking careers, generational dysfunction, religious trauma, cultural expectations, and the lies they were taught to believe about themselves. Not because it was easy—but because staying would’ve killed something sacred inside of them.

These are the stories of bold pivots, quiet courage, and messy but miraculous rebirths.

Each episode is a conversation—a disruption—meant to wake something up in you. Whether it’s a guest sharing the moment they chose themselves for the first time, or Leticia dropping a truth bomb that makes you question everything you’ve normalized, this podcast is here to shake the foundation of your survival mode identity and replace it with something truer. Something freer.

We’re not here for surface-level self-care tips or fake empowerment slogans.

We’re here to talk about what it really takes to:

Reclaim your voice after being silenced.

Reinvent yourself after being broken down.

Rewrite your story when everyone else wants you to stay the same.

Release the guilt of choosing YOU.

This is for those who are done performing. Done pleasing. Done pretending.

It’s for the ones ready to exit survival mode—not slowly, not quietly, but disruptively and unapologetically.

You won’t leave this podcast the same.
You’ll cry. You’ll rage. You’ll laugh.
You’ll see yourself in every story.
And more importantly, you’ll remember who the hell you are.

Welcome to Survival Mode Disrupted.
It’s not just a podcast.
It’s a movement.
And your exit begins here.

Support This Show

About your host

Profile picture for Leticia Francis

Leticia Francis

I am not here to inspire you—I am here to activate you.

As a Survivor, Keynote Speaker, and Trauma Recovery Mentor, I know what it’s like to fight battles no one sees. I also know that breaking free is possible. My work is about disrupting survival mode, exposing trauma-driven success cycles, and giving women the blueprint to reclaim their lives.

🔹 200+ podcast features & speaking engagements
🔹 Global Women of Choice Award Winner 2022
🔹 Creator of the Survival Mode Exit Plan
🔹 Host of Survival Mode Disrupted Podcast